Sexuality Issues

With gestational trophoblastic disease you have to deal with many changes in your lives. Over time, cancer can affect your sense of who you are, how you feel about yourself, and even your relationships. Some of the changes you may have concerns about relate to your sexuality. Here are ideas about how to deal with those changes. At the end you’ll also find resource you can use for getting help.

You might feel awkward talking about sexual issues. That can make it hard to be honest about how you feel. Your partner, doctor, or nurse may be waiting for you to bring up the subject of sex. That’s because they do not want to make you feel uncomfortable. It’s important to ask questions and talk about your sexual issues or concerns. You might find it helpful to talk to social workers, counselors, or other women in support groups.

Here are some questions to ask yourself when you are thinking about the effects cancer may have had on your sexuality:

  • How has my illness changed the way I see myself and feel about myself?
  • How has my illness interfered with my role as partner or mother or...?
  • How has my illness affected my sexual functioning or response?

Changes

Many short- and long-term changes take place with cancer treatment. These changes may affect your sexuality. The effects of different treatments can change the way you feel, look, and function. Some of the side effects you may have from treatment include:

  • changes in body image, such as hair loss
  • weight changes
  • menopause
  • fatigue
  • pain
  • anxiety

After cancer treatment, you may notice

  • low sexual desire
  • vaginal dryness
  • vaginal shortening or narrowing
  • painful intercourse
  • trouble reaching orgasm
  • infertility

All of these can affect your sexuality and your ability and interest in sexual activity.

Sexuality not only refers to sexual intercourse. It includes other means of sexual expression, such as touching and kissing. Intimacy refers to the physical or emotional closeness you share with another person. Self-esteem and body image are important factors that define how a woman feels about herself.

Whether the changes are short-term or long lasting, you can find ways to feel good about yourself. You can also find ways to be intimate with your partner. It’s important that you remember to be patient and give yourself time. Here are some ideas to help you cope with the changes you experience:

  • Focus on physical recovery. That includes paying attention to diet and physical activities.
  • Ask your doctor or nurse about maintaining or resuming sexual activity.
  • Include your partner in discussions.
  • Report vaginal discharge or bleeding to your doctor or nurse. Also report fever or pain.
  • Choose a time for intimacy. It should be when you and your partner are rested and free from distractions.
  • Create a romantic mood.
  • Try different positions until you find one that is more comfortable and less tiring for you.
  • Use pillows for comfort.
  • Use a water-soluble lubricant (Astroglide, K-Y jelly, Lubrin), if needed for intercourse.
  • Use dim lights, wigs, lingerie, and other things to cover wounds or scars if body image concerns keep you from been intimate.
  • If pain symptoms or nausea prevents you from being intimate, take medications 30 to 60 minutes before emotional closeness.
  • Remember that cancer is not contagious.
  • Use birth control during cancer treatment if you need to.
  • Remember that being intimate will not cause the cancer to come back or grow.
  • Remember that your partner is also affected by your cancer. Talk about both partners’ feelings and fears.
  • Explore different ways of showing love. For example explore hugging and holding, stroking and caressing, talking.
  • Discuss treatment options with your health care team if you have menopausal symptoms because of therapy.
  • Find humor where you can.

You may feel overwhelmed with information you get from your doctor. But it’s important to they take the time to gather as much information as possible. Here are some questions to ask the doctor.

Sexuality Questions

  • How will my cancer and its treatment affect my desire for sex and my sexual function?
  • How long will these changes last? What can I do about them?
  • Will I cause harm to myself or to my partner if I have sex?
  • Are there any restrictions that I should be aware of?